Meaning is what I have ever chased in my life. Meaning is what I try to draw out from a relationship, from a work I do, from a study I take, from a destination I am heading to, from an origin I am from, from an adventure I shoot for, and from an event that happens to me. As if one day I cannot find any meaning, that is the last day of my life.
Even to search for a cartoon to watch, I demand it to be meaningful and fun because it is so shallow without meaning. Maybe that is that I always get to be the one who filter out the options first before bringing them to my friends. Even toward something I do not think I would do, if I can extract a meaning out of it, I will do, eventually.
Meaning is also what I use to filter out what I might not like to do. One time, my friend asked me: “Do you like casino?” and I could say right away: “No, because it is not meaningful!”. Maybe this kind of mindset gets me to always be in a serious mood since what is the point of doing something without meaning?
Urged by quest of meaning, I always start with “Why?” for everything that happens to me. To some people, this can be annoying just because they think that you are not supposed to question everything in that way, rather to accept certain things as they are.
Meaning to me does not necessarily come first, it can come later or in between. Meaning can also come very natural because meaningful is meaningful, no one tries to create it. Having said that everyone can interpret how meaningful a thing is in a different way depending on their point of view. A movie can be meaningful to me but not to others since it relates to some questions I am having at that moments. An activity has a meaning because simply I enjoy doing it. Meaning although might be relative, like it is meaningful at this specific time and under this specific context only.
How much meaning is enough? Maybe up to an entire life, which keeps us living, isn’t it?
