One of my biggest realizations of my self-love journey is that how I can say unkind things to myself which I will never do to my friends and my family. Perhaps, upbringing I have been taught to be tough, to be good, everything else is not accepted. Therefore, it is so easy for me to criticize myself.
If I can do so for myself, subconsciously I can do the same to other people. This is where I understand that the more we love ourselves, the more we can love other people, in other words, as Bible said “Love others as how much you love yourself”.
When I first heard of ‘self-love’ I was also confused whether it is self-indulgence, whether it is to give yourself lots of comfort, if so I do not want to self love. In fact, it is far away from the truth. Love yourself is just simply being kind to yourself and care about yourself. You can still give yourself challenges to grow. And most importantly, you should not and probably cannot avoid suffering, it is just a part of life.
An example of loving self is to be okay when you make mistakes, not to blame or to feel sorry for yourself. Another example is to smile regardless of any circumstances you are in, because there is always a way. More than that, loving yourself is about being a friend with yourself, talking to yourself gently, listening to yourself, and trying to understand without any judgement.
As someone who is ambitious and result-oriented, I always find myself having a hard time to slow myself down and to let go of things. However, I am also aware that those are roots of imbalances. Overtime, I have tried to find a way to focus on my attitude and my actions, and to leave the result out of my hands, to accept that I cannot control what will turn out.
If we all have 24 hours, why not designing our time table to work and to care for ourselves as well as for others. Even a plant needs time to grow, so do we. Do not just look out and want what you want, give yourself some time to work on it.
Hope you have a good day.