I remember some years ago I wondered whether love can be taught at school and whether we can create a school for it. One time I asked my aunt who is a nun: “Auntie, what is love?” mostly just to tease if she is ever in love and she replied to me “Well, that is a very big question that can be hardly answered”. Growing up, my parents never tried to teach me how to love one another, they did not even mention about it as if it is a sensitive subject. However, like everything else we have to learn, we can learn to love, isn’t it?
Yet, I am sure every individual who is asked “what is love?” and “how to love” will have a different answer — an answer of their own. Not to mention, there are people who believe in love and who do not. Regardless, as human, we all yearn for it. Maybe giving examples of love is a better way to describe it. I tend to think that there are certain things without love, people would not do it, such as donating your blood for someone who is in need, such as taking care of a baby, such as climbing mountains to see each other, such as doing something you are not comfortable with just to be with someone, such as standing another individual and his or her differences, such as learning to live with each other, and so on. And maybe love is something you do not understand until after you experience it and reflect on it. It can also be the case that two people love each other but do not say it out loud. My parents never speak to each other “I love you” but there are certain actions that prove their love such as they made it through the fights, they have together taken care of us without even questioning whose responsibility or asking anything from us as children, and they went through hardship together. A friend of mine has a very deep love with her best friend who has the same sex and they have had to work together to go through the storms from family to society. Yet, they truly understand and support each other as a family. They fight to be together.
Love is what brings us together, “we are born to love, not to hate”. However, if love is that powerful and meaningful, why can it be confusing or scary sometimes? Firstly, not everyone loves in the same way, same degree, and same language so it might not be clear to define. Secondly, a friend told me “love is not just an emotion”, you will rarely look at a person and say “I love you” right away, love is a journey. No wonder why love has always been a subject for artists, musicians, and poets to deploy.
No matter how abstract love is, I have the same belief as my friend’s, which is “you can learn to love”. Basically we should consider love as a verb rather than a noun. To love is to care. To love is to accept certain parts you would not accept just by yourself. Love is contagious so by little actions to love one another, we can inspire each other to understand and to love each other more, so that at the end of the day we can say “because you were there for me, now I am here for you”. If being lucky, a kid who grows up in a loving family with loving parents will be more ready to love another person, in a loving way. Without knowing how to love, we can hurt other people and even let ourselves hurt.
That friend also taught me that certain loves transform into different things and they are always there, love does not go away. Only when it is not built up, it is faded. I think if tomorrow is my last day, I will spend all day today just to love a little more.
