Since tonight is Christmas Eve which reminds myself of love, joy, and happiness, I have had some reflection on happiness. Until this day on earth, I can clearly see happiness is truly just a choice. A choice of one person might be different from one of the other.
This year, I have chosen to be with my family. Even though I have tried to make peace with it, when things got hard, I could not help with thinking of leaving. Perhaps, my resilience is not as great as I thought. Or, when I see people have something that I do not have, that comparison was rising up and I started questioning. Perhaps, we should all make a choice and never look back?
Indeed, life can be much simpler if we know how to navigate it. I used to set a very high expectation for myself in everything, until my body was hurt and my soul was damaged by disappointment, I’ve realized that nothing is permanent, and though we should try our best, the last person we want to turn our back to is ourselves. As someone said something like: “If you fix a person, the entire world will be healed.”
Be a best friend for yourself, then you will know who on earth also truly cares about you. Best friends give honest opinion, and help guide us to make a sound judgement. Those friends won’t compare. They won’t judge. Best friends will be patient when we make mistakes, understand when we stumble, lift us up when we fall. Best friends will say things like “that is not who you are” because they know you.
Is happiness what you obtain when you get what you want? Not quite. I have learnt that to be happy, we need to be willing to let go even the thing we desire the most for something else that is worthwhile. To accept even the worst outcome, the ugly feelings, and to thrive from those. Otherwise, the happiness is just a mirroring feeling of standing in the summit and realizing that “well, now I have to get down?”. “This too shall pass” as it is said.
For the happiness to last, we must be able to look beyond ourselves, to acknowlege our shortcomings and those of others. Doing things for the shake of our own needs won’t take us far or lead us to the feeling to getting lost. And, happiness is inside out, what seems happy from the outside does not necessarily bring us the fulfillment. To be happy is to be whole and to be connected with ourselves and others around us.
Wish you a happy and joyful holidays.
