Today my aunt graduated from her college and it has been a joy for all of us. We have seen her struggling for 3 years, tears and stress, moments of silence, issues unresolved, unavailability, and more that cannot be described by words. About 3 years ago, I was the one who said Yes to her when she asked for my support to go back to school. Until now, I am still not sure if it is the right decision, so much sacrifice I have made and my uncle has put in for her to complete her study. I put in my youth, my uncle put in his career and energy. Lots of time, lots of effort, tons of struggle, yet, in this precious moment of seeing her succeed, we do not know how to express or review what we have been through, together or alone, as a family or an individual.
The biggest lesson I have got after all is that human love is conditional. We give and take every day. The moment that give and take is not balanced, we stumble and struggle. Unconditional love only comes from God. Therefore, for the short amount of time for us on earth, let’s not worry too much if someone leaves us, or if we should start a fight. I think life is too precious to care about what we do not love, which is easier said than done when we are all overwhelmed with our emotions. And, we also do not have the energy to pay attention to everything, at the end of the day, we all care about several things.
So, with so much suffering, we cannot come back in time to fix anything, to accept things with more appreciation, what could we do? Perhaps, we should be better at learning from other people’s mistakes so that we can be a little better off. It is the fact that some of the decisions might not be the best decisions. Life always brings with it uncertainty, the moment we decide something, doubts start creeping in, the question is how can we make a better decision next time? It is hard, that is the truth. Sometimes, we do need to make the same mistake again and again until we learn the lesson. Practically, I think a good decision should give us at least the same amount of joy as the amount of doubt at that critical moment. However, to be fair, every decision will lead us to a new set of other decisions, life never stops, and that one decision might be good within a period of time, until we make a new decision. Overthinking is definitely not worth it. Life should be more fun, and joyful.
Above all, love is still what matters. We live to love and love will nurture us to move forward in life, regardless of adversities. And, love usually comes to us in the most unexpected way, like God is blessing us behind the scene, without much agenda. There is just a sense of “I am loved” at the moment. Each of us already tried so hard to move through the day, God loves us enough to not ask us to try to be loved or to love. Love should be the most natural thing in our life. Our parents do not need to try to love us, they only need to try to raise us to become good. Our friends do not need to try to love us, our present for them is enough. We do not need to try to love ourselves, because most days, that is the first thing we think about, how to be safe, and survive and be useful. Our partner does not need to try to love us, they come to us because they love us. And, our God does not need to try to love us, he only needs to try to save us from sins. A word to life, thank you, for being there for us to experience.
