Recently I have been talking to my friends and I have seen a common pattern in which at some point of the conversations, they said: “Enough about me, let’s talk about you”. I have to say that I appreciate and admire their hard stop. As humans, we mostly just think for ourselves so if you can pause and and be concerned about other human beings, that shows a maturity.
Frankly, no one likes to talk with someone who always speak about themselves. Perhaps, the person has so much in himself or herself that they need to let it out and that they need someone to listen. However, the conversation is just one-sided, it makes the other person confused about their importance.
Although if we are not mindful, we might just be focusing on ourselves and constantly thinking about what we need to say next even when we are listening. Apparently, there should only be one person talking in a conversation, someone needs to be a listener. Active listening takes a willingness to put yourself aside, takes humility to remove all filters and biases, to remain neutral and attentive, and takes an open heart and an open mind.
Bring yourself to the table but also bring your love and your care. As much as you appreciate other people listening to you, you get to do the same for others. Your friend or your partner is not a tree, they have thoughts and emotions just like you. Plus it it simple that when you truly care about someone, you would want to know what is going on in their lives. Unless they feel uncomfortable sharing, they would love to make their voice heard.
One of our most significant needs is to feel important. It is said that if you spend time listening to someone, that person will like you even when you have not opened your mouth to speak up yet, because your attention makes their presence special. Even when you do not understand what they are talking about, it is nice to keep paying attention and to give questions. At the end of the day, listening helps you to understand people a little better.
Isn’t it how we love one another more?
