Let me make a point about ego.
I am the kind of people whose need to be important is a little higher than that of others. For me, to be heard is the must. That need comes from my ego, therefore, whenever it is unmet, my ego hurts. However, realistically, not every time I am as important as I expected. Then, I have tried to come up with a way to resolve, other than hitting my head into a wall.
When I go to work, I expect my team to listen to me, to evaluate my ideas, to disagree or agree with reasons. Yet, I have to be honest that I cannot do the same to other people sometimes. It takes effort and attention to listen to every single person. In our fast moving lives, we pass by so many things we think not important at the moment. That is not to say that we should be okay if our voice keeps being ignored.
On the other side, it teaches me a lesson about leadership. To be a leader is simply to make others feel important enough that they can be confident and do their jobs well. The most common leadership failure could be the failure to listen. That is probably why many engineers cannot just jump on to be team leads since they still want to get things done instead of empowering others to do something.
Now, whenever I struggle since my voice is not heard, I have a list of two questions to clean up my mind. First of all, does what I want to say matter to them? If my opinion is untold, would there be any negative consequence? If NO, let it go. There might be too many chefs in the kitchen, or people just simply care about something else at the moment. In those cases, there is a very small chance if no chance for my voice to get into their ears. Second, does what I want to say affect myself? am I held responsible and therefore I need to speak up? If NO, say it and then let go, it is probably not my business anyway.
It is said than done, yes, however, it is pointless to be mad if no one cares about what I say, sometimes. Do speak up though, people who find your opinion matter will stay there to listen and question you. Plus ideas, thoughts, emotions come and go. Five minutes later, you might not like what you want to say as much, so do not get hung up on it. Instead, you can focus on listening to others’ ideas and seeing if the ideas are good. Just because you are not heard, do not repeat that instance to someone else who is trying to tell you something.
