Here in the Bay area in particular and in the world in general, it’s interesting for me to see how our lives have changed due to COVID-19 pandemic. Businesses are scared to death because of shutting down, some other businesses and schools are trying to catch up with moving things to online, people are freaking out about social distancing because of shelter-in-place restriction. Surprisingly, I have been through all of these toughness even before the pandemic and now I stay calm nothing is new or shocking to me so I want to share my stories about being persistent and being unstoppable with a purpose of helping others who might be losing hope and fall into desperation of uncertain future. No social interaction, no recognition, lots of rejections and frustration I experienced all of them.
There is a saying:”There is the will, there will be the way” and this has helped me to build mental toughness to overcome challenges. Challenges here also include defining what my will is before finding a way for it. Biking 2.5 hours everyday to go to work and take online courses in web development everyday, I did my first step in verifying whether I am serious with coding and want to pursue it. As challenge is my vitamin supplement, I decided to go for coding path and quitted my job in a startup in which I was being appreciated and was being surrounded by passionate people whom I never expected to meet at work in the U.S. Yes, I did that, fast and furious, life still looked rosy to me back then, I prepared to move to CA to figure things out! I had to keep improving my coding skill, to pursue the course, to apply for software engineering and web development jobs, to deal with rejections, and to adapt to a new life, all at the same time. At that time, I barely had any friends here in CA and I only stayed at home to study online and apply for jobs, it was lonely, uncertain and frustrating many times. That was when I deeply learnt that I am a people person, I crave for people, I learn from them and I cannot grow much without sharing with people. And so I was lost into the confusion between the will to code on computer and the need to have people around. My friends all questioned what I was doing with my life and employers for whom I have applied questioned about my career path. And suddenly I questioned God and the universe as well. Some of things happened easily or smoothly before led me to an illusion that whatever I want I can get it, right away. So I thought I could just come to CA, I would get a job in tech. I failed my expectation terribly. These moments were when I doubt myself and when I talk and try to listen to myself the most. I cried a lot too because I did not get used to not being recognized, that was crying for growing! I thought what I do shows what I want or why people don’t see my potential but it was apparently not that simple. Then I realized that maybe I failed to communicate to the world, but I still choose to do it by my actions, even more than “Just do it”, I keep coding everyday. Having to take some part time jobs to maintain my legal status in the U.S I had to quit my online education after finishing Frontend and Backend portions. That was another hard step out of my comfort zone, I had a community there in which people have non-traditional background like mine and come together for coding. That threw me some rocks when I went out and people treated me like “sorry, you don’t have a real CS (Computer Science) degree”, I had honestly never ever felt this hurt when being looked down and it was completely hard for me to ‘do not take NO as an answer’. And my part time jobs, since I never want to stay away from programming and always want to get better at it, I got a job as a code instructor/code coach for kids, unexpectedly. Working with kids was definitely joyful but it got frustrating to me some times, especially when kids do not enjoy doing stuff they are doing. But I just keep doing that because I got to learn a lot about Computer Science fundamentals, I need to understand to share it to my students. Along way, I began realizing that helping others to build what they want is very rewarding, even more than my fulfillment of finishing building something. I even want to do more of it. Yeah, sometimes things you don’t expect bring you to paths you enjoy doing, you never know so don’t immediately say NO to an opportunity.
While things get hard, I learn to focus on what matters most to me. I learnt to spend time with my family because no matter how challenging it is to me out there, they always support me and are there for me. I promise myself that I will never give up on my family. Having quality time is a true source of happiness that many people ignore and it is also something you can not get with money, it’s invaluable. During my difficult time, I managed to have a meal with my aunt and uncle family at least in the weekend, and I tried to help them with house works as well as I cared about what happens to them daily. Whenever I get to talk my mom, my dad, my sister or my brother, I get more calm and I am just like provided more strength to deal with whatever happens in my life. Just like how I admire Forrest Gump by his spirit of keep hope and working on it, he is also a man of faith, whenever his family or his friends need him, he would swim over an ocean right away to come to them.
Looking back, I am glad and proud of myself for not giving up. I almost did it. And I am grateful to my family and my close friends who are there with me.
Because I was limited in meeting people (I don’t have a car and most importantly, my work and study is mostly online), I focus more on building relationship with people I care and I connect more with people to do things virtually like solving code challenges together. I started enjoy doing it.
Because my non-traditional background was not accepted, I told myself to try even more, to practice even more to get better. It was definitely challenging at the beginning but then I started enjoy practicing.
Because I cannot travel easily, I learnt to be more disciplined and manage my schedule to catch trains and bus and so 4 hour commute everyday is not a challenge to me anymore. I have read books and invested on thoughts while on train and bus too.
Because of the challenges I have got, I have had to look up to great people who have dealt with tons of bigger challenges everyday to make a difference like Richard Branson, Elon Musk, friends and acquaintances I have met on the streets, on the bus and out there whom I got to listen to their stories.
Because things have not been easy, I have had to be more creative, I have had to be more resourceful, my values have been sharpened, I have had to keep a good health, I have got stronger everyday and the challenge I got yesterday now becomes easier and I tend to seek for tougher challenges.
Things might get even harder but I am not afraid anymore. I am grateful for the good and the bad. And now toward a challenge I will say “I don’t know it but I can figure it out and deal with it”.
I was small but after all, I learnt that “SMALL IS BEAUTIFUL”:
“What a meaningful journey I am going through, in my life, I never been in this kind of lonely journey, never been rejected this much, never felt this intimidated and lack of confidence, never been this soft, never not dared to dream, never been this close to giving up, never appreciate every minute in my life this much, never felt this small. But small is beautiful, it teaches me to appreciate things I am having much more, it helped me to really understand my values, it makes me more human, it makes me more patient, more thoughtful. I will try my best to prove that you can do everything you want as long as you have enough effort and determination. I am seeing that I am growing very much everyday with my coding skill, with my thought that can I solve any problem, with my curiosity about how technology has changed our life.Most importantly, this journey has helped me to realize how lucky I am!!”
Here are some important lessons I carved in my heart:
Life is a box of chocolate, but also like a Sea Anemone, you never know what you are gonna get.
When you are angry, that’s when you value speaks.
Either you get out of it or you adapt to it, it’s that simple.
There might be more than 2 choices, and there are many I of myself.
You can do what you want if you want it enough.
Do not listen to others, listen to yourself.
“Being happy is even important than being healthy” :)
Learning is like forever, you learn and you fail and learn again.
Being wrong is not that scary.
Perspectives change over time.
Don’t compare yourself to others.
Whatever you are doing, just keep moving forward. Nothing worth comes easy.
I am amazed by people who have talent and passion but I deeply respect people who have been through challenges and made their way out of them. If these above challenges I shared are too small to you, I have all respect to you too because yours challenges must be tougher.
