We are not here today without our mothers giving birth to us. Have you ever asked if you are to be born one more time, how do you want yourself to be? Some people might say I want to try being a different gender, being in a different family, or being in a different place. All are valid, yet, why?
Perhaps, every life is an experiment, a chance to enjoy, learn, and leave something on earth. I personally think that everything that has happened to us and everyone whom we have met and spent time with all make us who we are today. We are not just a product of our parents only. Family is a foundation, an important spring board in shaping who we are. Yet, as we have grown, family just stands by to lift us up, instead of being our compass. Every of our choice leads to a different outcome that we might not be able to see yet. Mistakes and failures are unavoidable. We fall and we stand back up to continue the journey.
On my first birthday in the U.S, I went to my school campus to celebrate with some classmates but I was totally drunk before they even showed up. I woke up and regretting for overdrinking and for not being able to take care of myself. For the second and third birthday, I got to celebrate with my aunt’s family in a small apartment. It was fun and cozy, I always love smallness. Perhaps, that is why I am still working at a small startup. In the fourth year, I have got a bigger cake, stayed in a bigger house yet it felt awkward. From that point, I have learnt that more is less, bigger house seems to leave us apart instead of connecting us together. I appreciate all of those moments. However, I tend think there has not been a birthday in which I am proud of my existence and I can be 100% myself. I was someone who tried to play well her roles.
This year, I have stumbled many times and learnt very costly lessons. This year, I have not taken many risks. This year, I was achieving and thriving sometimes, but very lonely and struggling a lot of other times. This year, I made some decisions. This year, I acknowledge that I need to take care of myself better. This year, I laughed as much as I cried, I was confused as much as I was certain. And I have realized that I am imperfect, just like everyone else. This year, I sat down with myself and realistically looked at my life with honest eyes. Then I felt sad, for a quick moment. And I determine to change, for a better future. I let myself down and I promise that I will raise myself up. Again.
Peace and happiness are not that far to grab. Wish your wishes come true.
